i need help. asap.

the last paragraph is my question, but there's a bit of a back story to aide you in your conclusion.

okay, so this guy, we have been hooking up in the past, then he stopped talking to me. after a few months, i hit him back up and we, again, continued to hook up. i started to get feelings for him and i told him. things were looking up. it was going well. he was opening up more and talking, asking questions. but then, again, stopped talking to me.

over thanksgiving weekend, as i was just fine that he wasn't going to talk to me again, i kept getting reminders about him. over and over and over. then i got on the website (after so long of not being on there) and only to find that he made another account. i was unsure if it was him or not, but i didn't want to click the picture. but my ipod said that i did anyway. it was him.

i freaked out and just left it alone. well, he looked at my profile in return. three days in a row, and i decided it was his way of telling me "hey, i wanna talk to you again" so i sent a message. we talked for a bit, and it was a real eye opener. he seemed to not be bothered by me, or that it was my fault that he stopped talking to me.

well, i've tried to speak to him again and he just didn't talk back, but yet, he's still viewing my profile daily. why is he doing this, and giving me these damned mixed signals? any help or advice would be awesome. thank you guys <3

gizziey_sykes wrote:

the last paragraph is my question, but there's a bit of a back story to aide you in your conclusion.

okay, so this guy, we have been hooking up in the past, then he stopped talking to me. after a few months, i hit him back up and we, again, continued to hook up. i started to get feelings for him and i told him. things were looking up. it was going well. he was opening up more and talking, asking questions. but then, again, stopped talking to me.

over thanksgiving weekend, as i was just fine that he wasn't going to talk to me again, i kept getting reminders about him. over and over and over. then i got on the website (after so long of not being on there) and only to find that he made another account. i was unsure if it was him or not, but i didn't want to click the picture. but my ipod said that i did anyway. it was him.

i freaked out and just left it alone. well, he looked at my profile in return. three days in a row, and i decided it was his way of telling me "hey, i wanna talk to you again" so i sent a message. we talked for a bit, and it was a real eye opener. he seemed to not be bothered by me, or that it was my fault that he stopped talking to me.

well, i've tried to speak to him again and he just didn't talk back, but yet, he's still viewing my profile daily. why is he doing this, and giving me these damned mixed signals? any help or advice would be awesome. thank you guys <3

Do yourself a favor, forget about him. Too complicated. In my opinion.

Yeah, I agree, this is really mixed up and a bit crazy. You obviously have feelings for him but I'm sad to say, that from reading this, it seems he may return them, but only occasionally and on his own terms. I think continuing on like this can only be detrimental to you both - more so to you because you'll forever be at his mercy/ beck and call. Relationships - besides love, obviously - should be about honesty, communication, equality and respect, and without all of those things functioning together, I don't think a relationship is healthy. To me, it doesn't seem like he's being very honest, treating you with respect, or communicating clearly with you at all, and I don't think people change that much, so it all seems a bit pointless to me.

I think you need to look honestly at the situation - and at both yours and his role in the scheme of things - and evaluate the true problems and whether they're solvable. Be honest with yourself, no matter how hard it will be now. If you really think it can work out, try to talk to him one more time and clearly articulate your situation and thoughts and ensure you get back something of equal clarity and honesty, and go from there. But really, if you just keep giving him more and more chances, he'll notice the reigns are slacking and keep taking advantage of that.

Sorry if this sounds so bleak and if I have upset you - I know he must be pretty amazing in some ways for you to be so fond of him. And I don't want to be preachy and tell you what to do, and you don't have to listen to me (obviously ), but I just think you don't deserve all of this continued heartache, confusion and uncertainty. I just want what's best for you.

i really appreciate everyone's opinions. it's just really hard, cuz i want to talk to him in person, but it's ... i don't want to come off as that one girl who demands things or wants a relationship.

don't get me wrong, i'm sure it'd be lovely with him, but i am just really bad with words.

if we ever see each other again, i want to ask why he keeps leaving and if he actually sees me as a -friend- or whatever. you know?

i want to hear from him, exactly what we are. i know he's called me his friend and stuff, but it doesn't -feel- as such, ya know?

gizziey_sykes wrote:

i really appreciate everyone's opinions. it's just really hard, cuz i want to talk to him in person, but it's ... i don't want to come off as that one girl who demands things or wants a relationship.

don't get me wrong, i'm sure it'd be lovely with him, but i am just really bad with words.

if we ever see each other again, i want to ask why he keeps leaving and if he actually sees me as a -friend- or whatever. you know?

i want to hear from him, exactly what we are. i know he's called me his friend and stuff, but it doesn't -feel- as such, ya know?

I don't think being insistent on talking to him will make you come off as that, especially if you go into the conversation not with a set agenda, but with the knowledge you just want to sort things you and will respect his honesty as he should yours.

So wait, you haven't talked to him much in person, then?

Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, I hope you sort things out.